No one tells you how to cope and conceive after miscarrying. It’s a hard topic to talk about for medical providers, friends, and family. This only furthers feelings of isolation, confusion, and heartbreak. If you are mentally ready to get pregnant again after miscarriage here are all the ways I, as a nurse practitioner, know how to help you cope and conceive during this time.
If this is your first time miscarrying.
Know that it’s okay. This happens and it happens at an uncomfortably high rate of 25% of the time. 1 in 4 pregnancies will end in miscarriage. There are a number of different kinds of pregnancies that result in miscarriage. There is a biochemical pregnancy when you have an early pregnancy that doesn’t “stick” or continue onto a growing pregnancy. This usually looks like a late period after a positive pregnancy test.
There is a pregnancy called a blighted ovum, which is a gestational sac, but no fetal cells growing inside. A missed miscarriage is when the fetus has no heartbeat, stops growing and you do not have any idea (everyone’s worst fear). Also, more serious types pregnancies that result in miscarriage include a molar, ectopic, and chromosomally abnormal pregnancies. These typically need some help from medical providers to resolve.
Miscarriage is not final.
Just one miscarriage is not considered abnormal, but if you have had 3 or more miscarriages it could be the sign of a reproductive problem. This is when providers will perform a series of blood tests and physical tests to rule out the cause of miscarriage. You can get pregnant after one or more miscarriages. It is the final ending to your story and there is hope at the end of the rainbow.
Many causes to miscarriage can be fixed, but some cannot.
Most miscarriages are caused by unforeseeable chromosomal errors during fertilization. This can happen at random and there isn’t any way you could have prevented this from occurring. Some miscarriages happen because of the health of mom, drug abuse, trauma or recessive traits passed down. Some of these reasons are preventable through healthy practices and testing. If both you and your partner have recessive genes not compatible with life, you can test for these in an embryo prior to implantation in a fertility practice. It is not possible to avoid this on your own, you need technology to help you.
Having both you, your partner and your miscarried fetus tested for recessive genes, karyotyping, genetic abnormalities, ultrasounds, hormones, etc. might help you learn why you miscarried. This is usually only offered after the third miscarriage.
How can you cope?
There are wonderful support organizations online here and locally in the community found here. I highly recommend you and your partner see out the support of those who know exactly what you are going through. Your partner is also affected by the miscarriage. Know that the hormones of pregnancy still impact you emotionally during this time. It might be hard to accept your body after the loss, it might be hard to trust your body again. It is normal to go through the stages of grief which are:
It is normal to hurt after losing a pregnancy at any stage. It is common to hurt more than you thought you would have. Grief is a surprising thing. Men also feel deeply impacted after a miscarriage and can have a difficult time expressing themselves afterward. Medical providers are not always very supportive. Because miscarriage is so common, they may see pregnancy loss multiple times a week, which has desensitized them to the occurrence. I apologize for this.
How can you conceive again?
Yes, you can. This is a generalization, so please speak with your medical provider about your healthcare, but most women will conceive again. Continue to take prenatal vitamins and consider switching to one with L-methylfolate like this or 5MTHF like this and this (use PRC: 101505 for a discount) instead of folic acid for better absorption in case you have a common miscarriage gene mutation called MTHFR.
Now is the time to work on your mental and physical health to get yourself in the best shape possible for your next pregnancy. You may need to wait until your pregnancy hormone levels have returned to zero (HCG <5) in order to become pregnant and this can take up to 1 month or longer with complications. Try to work on diet and exercise. For recipes and fertility foods check out my post here on possible foods to incorporate into your diet.
Consider returning to your medical provider for a thorough workup and to be referred to a fertility specialist. Read when to go to a fertility specialist here.
Pay attention to your bleeding patterns and your cervical mucus. Once pregnant, you might need to learn how to trust and celebrate this pregnancy. It will be hard to let your protective guard down and fully enjoy your rainbow pregnancy and that it common and okay.
Sorry for your loss.
As with everything, take one day at a time. Gratefulness journals, yoga, meditation, self-care, and therapy will help on your path to peace. Don’t try to tough it out. I am very sorry for your loss and know that you are not alone. 1 in 4 women has experienced exactly when you are experiencing right now. Many of them do not speak openly about it and many of them go on to creating their families. Have hope and stay strong.
The contents of this website are for informational purposes only and are not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you have regarding a medical condition, and before undertaking any diet, dietary supplement, exercise, or another health program. We may receive compensation through the issuer’s affiliate programs when you click on links to products.